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23-Feb-2020 22:23

I see myself as a lively, bright and sociable girl.

I love to interact with new people and have no problem making new friends.

(They might say making chocolate is a woman’s hobby and men never do .) But I must thank the South Korean men I have dated — even those who have been so critical of me — for leading me down this path of self-discovery.

And I look forward to meeting the next man who will help me learn more about who I truly am.

Here are some things I heard from my ex’s: “Why do you have so many male friends? But the same guys would get angry when their own girlfriends tried to drink more than one can of beer.

” “Do you really have to go to all those social gatherings? They wanted to date a girl who was smart and independent enough to handle her own life, but also dependent enough to respect when faced with difficulties.

I am full of contradictory desires, wanting to be my own self, whatever that may be, but also wanting to meet South Korean society’s standards on what a proper woman should be.

All the people I have met at school, at workplaces, even at home have influenced me.

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I kept on worrying about whether I could satisfy his friends or parents’ expectations of a “good woman.” My fears were not the only reason we parted ways, but they were certainly a factor.I stopped going on different social gatherings because I wanted to be like him — being considerate and focusing on our relationship.Through him, I learned relationship is like a mirror that reflects one another, because I realized it was he who had first engaged in some form of in reality had been a part of my nature all along.It’s an old battle: fighting against the chasm, between the expectations of South Korean men (and even women who embrace these expectations) and the real, live selves of South Korean women.

As a young woman, I kept wondering about how I should act, and how much of myself I should show men.It’s Valentine’s Day, and I am enjoying making chocolate on my own.