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I don't know if I can accept this new "man" in her life. You have a right to express your opinion privately, but when you see him, be cordial and do not make apparent how much you disapprove of the relationship. The result will be that you see less of him, your daughter will be upset with you and you will see less of your grandkids.To tell you the truth, I want nothing to do with him. DEAR ABBY: I'm getting married soon, and I want to invite a colleague I have known for years. My fiance, "Ted," is from a large, very traditional family. Thanks to the amazing role model she's always had encouraging her. She probably talks to her more often than some of her friends. And if her mom calls on the other line when she's on the phone with you, she'll have to call you back. She's going to go to her mom first for most problems. She's not going to expect you to be BFF-level, but she wants to see that you treat your own mother with respect and that you enjoy seeing her. Sometimes it's a 45-minute chat on the phone, sometimes it's texting back and forth, sometimes it's just a few emails, but she's is definitely having at least one conversation with her mom daily. She wants to replicate the relationship she has with her mom with her own daughter one day. If you don't treat her mom well, she's not going to stick around for long. She's the kind of girl who goes home for holidays, birthdays, graduations, you name it — she loves any chance she gets to spend time with them. She'll treat your mom like her own, and your mom will be obsessed. Advice to daughter's mother: You have a right to express your opinion privately, but when you see him, be cordial and do not make apparent how much you disapprove of the relationship. If she lives nearby, she's going to want to have dinner or brunch with you both on the regular.
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