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I thought of myself as a kind of enlightened, not sexually repressed person.Q: If someone wanted to undertake a similar exploration, do you have any tips for that tour? If you don’t like something, don’t feel like you have to like it. But also when you have bad experiences, forgive yourself for having them and not blame experimentation.It points out the grappling you have in the book around language.What role do you think language and vocabulary play in today’s dating culture? You know, at the end of the day, there’s actually nothing new about any sexual practice. [Laughs.] But it’s really the stories we tell about it, the language we use that differentiates our feelings about it.It suddenly was apparent to me that the kind of person I had seen myself as was actually just a story I was telling myself — that there were other ways to be, other ways to consider and explore. It just seemed to me one of the most urgent questions of being alive right now and something on the mind of a lot of my friends.It was clear there had been a technological shift, there’d been a demographic shift of people getting married later, or not at all. There’s this idea about serious journalism not being about you.In these groups, they ask you that question over and over again.A: It was hard for me, and it’s honestly still hard for me when somebody asks me what I want. [Laughs.] Realizing that I had this difficulty was kind of amazing to me.
The conversation has been edited for length and clarity. A: I always just assumed my life would be like my parents’ life.
She not only reported on orgasmic meditation, she tried it out.
“I came to understand that in writing about sexuality, if you’re just writing about other people, there’s something always kind of clinical about it and abstract,” Witt said in a recent interview.
How did watching it shift how you thought about the intellectual debate?
A: I really had trouble admitting to myself that it turned me on.
Then I had to ask myself: Why does that freak me out? So then I went back and thought about all the teaching I had gotten from feminism, from older ideas, from Christian morality about what was wrong about pornography.