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He was chasing me around, and so I got out and ran over to the front yard.Finally, he caught me and he reached out to grab me by my pants, but he accidentally pulled them off and I tripped into the mud with NO pants on.My flatmates watched and encouraged me gulp down more than a few before I stumbled off to meet the lucky girl. Cue some loud comments about bad quality chairs in bars, and you’re just about getting an idea of how smooth I really am. Cliona kicked everything off by telling us how she accidently signed up for a little more than just a dinner date: One time a guy I’d met at a club and agreed to a date with, picked me up and said we had to really quickly swing by ‘somewhere’ before dinner.I ended up getting so wasted that I insisted on dragging the poor girl to Mc Donald’s to get my drunken greasy fix. We ended up ‘swinging by’ his mum’s house where he introduced me as his girlfriend!My friends told me it would be better if I went to the nurse and got a pad there, so I did, and then went into the bathroom to put on the pad.However, she went into a long ramble about pads, tampons, periods, etc., and was talking superloud.
I try to look unperturbed and cool with this, for the sake of everyone, and pass the rest of the time discussing a short story about a man having sex with his dog, before making a swift exit and deleting the girl’s number from my phone. At least I wasn’t named and shamed, there’s a lot to be said for anonymity – I could have become an unwilling advocate of pet sex.
We went skinny-dipping since it was so cold outside and the hot tub was superhot.