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02-Jan-2020 08:01

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Later I’ll probably post an adorable picture of him on social media and write something about how I never knew what love was until he came along and what an honor it is to be his mother. This morning, though, I’m thinking about the moment in the hospital when they laid him on my chest for the first time.I seesawed wildly back and forth about having kids.Beyond the physical discomfort, I also spent a lot of time worrying whether I would like being a mom.However, whenever someone asked how I was or whether I was excited to meet the baby, I responded with, “Great! ” There is an unwritten rule that when you’re pregnant you don’t talk about anxiety and fear.

This ambivalence extended to the way I prepared to welcome baby into our home.

I have never been clearer about the things I value.

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