Dating within your church
If you have just spotted some serious red flags in your dating relationship, seek counsel from wise, confidential people in your church community.
But remember, the decision is ultimately up to you.
Proverbs makes it clear that you will only be ensnared. You may actually become an enabler who receives the brunt of his anger. Those little childlike qualities may seem really cute right now, but it will grow old (and aggravating) shortly into marriage. If a man is not responsible with his time, money, and work, why would he be responsible in his future family life? You should also consider your date’s relationships with other people.
As cute as his flirtation may have seemed toward you, it might also be an indicator that he likes “playing the field” and will continue to—even just in seemingly harmless ways—after marriage. A man who is unwilling to take counsel shows that he is prideful instead of humble.
Proverbs says, “Where there is no guidance [counsel], a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” A man who seeks counsel is a man who desires to be wise. Has he invited accountability into his life from not only his friends, but older and wiser men?
If there is always that possibility, then you must ask yourself whether this person has the qualities you will need in a husband. Ask yourself these questions: How strong is his relationship with Jesus Christ? How passionate is he about reading God’s Word, prayer, and fellowship with other believers in a biblically solid church? However, in Ephesians Paul compares a husband’s role toward his wife with that of Christ’s role toward His Bride, the Church, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, the she might be holy and without blemish,” (Ephesians -27, emphasis mine).
Christ’s role and a husband’s role do differ because only Christ alone can truly cleanse us.It’s an good question that needs to be considered seriously. The same applies for sexual innuendo that is inappropriate before marriage.