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Nobody’s profile really represents what they’re like in real life.
And as a result, you will either underestimate them – and dismiss someone who could be a good match – or else overestimate them and then be disappointed when you meet in person.
In the US, online dating is now the second most common way for heterosexual couples to meet (behind introductions through friends). After millions of years of human evolution, and thousands of years of the development of human society, humans had settled on the idea that in-person interactions through fun, face-to-face social activities were the best way to meet new people.
And then along came online dating to blow that idea away.
Unfortunately, when you’re reading the profiles of other people, it’s easy to forget that this rule applies to them, too.
You know that what you’re seeing isn’t an accurate representation of them, but it doesn’t stop you from judging them on it anyway.
To answer this, let’s take a look at some of the main reasons online dating doesn’t work. Researchers in the UK recently calculated the odds of finding a compatible partner if they used the average person’s requirements (in terms of desired age, physical requirements, location, and so on).
No profile, no matter how well-written, could ever hope to capture the full extent of your personality.
To make matters worse, most people suck at selling themselves, and do a terrible job of their profiles.
And, of course, the ones who good at selling themselves generally do so by misrepresenting themselves to some extent.
The promise of making it easier to find your “ideal” companion by letting you add filters to hone in on specific requirements has actually had the opposite effect, diminishing your pool to the point it becomes almost impossible to find anyone!
Before online dating existed, finding a compatible fit was far less clinical; you’d meet someone in real life, and if you enjoyed their company you might decide to on another date, maybe more.There is increasing evidence that, in face-to-face meetings, we are subconsciously picking up clues about the suitability of future partners based on a wide variety of non-verbal information.