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He said: "A man does not expose himself to refusal.
If he is not certain that his proposal will be well received, he sends someone to the girl's home to make a preliminary inquiry.
He then has fulfilled the duty of his life (Granqvist, 1931: pp 46-47).
Yet, if a young man reaches the marriageable age and is not betrothed, it becomes his privilege to ask his father to find for him a wife (Trumbull, p. Hilma Granqvist, who lived in a Palestinian village in the 1920's, noted that when "a young man's own people put off his marriage he is angry". Just how the choice of a bride is made and from among what groups varies throughout the Middle East.
The go-between actually carried out the negotiations of the betrothal.
Like the al-Murrah, most Arab marriages are made between members of close kinsmen.
This type of practice has its biblical similarities.
When Abraham decided it was time for Isaac to marry, he sent his servant to find Isaac a bride from among his own family in Mesopotamia (Gen. Laban thought it better to give his daughter to Jacob, a nephew, rather than to a stranger (Gen. Samson's father was dishearten when Samson wanted to marry out of their tribe (Judges 14:3).
And the words of Moses, according to the word of the Lord, were: "This is the thing which the Lord doth command concerning the daughters of Zelophehad, saying, Let them marry to whom they think best; only to the family of the tribe of their father shall they marry" (Numbers 36:6).
The go-between would then go to the house of the girl's father and begin to negotiate for the bride.