Afghanistan dating and marriage
As a Muslimah, I understand that Islam has freed us of the shackles of nationalism and limiting ourselves to one race.There is nothing wrong with marrying within your own race and to limit the differences as much as possible, but only if it is an option and not a requirement.My Afghan awakening began in New York in 1961 when I married my college sweetheart, Ali.I was an Orthodox Jewish-American girl; he was a Muslim boy from Afghanistan who had been away from home for fourteen years while studying at private schools in Europe and America. He treated me the way his father and elder brother treated their wives: with annoyed embarrassment, coldness, distance.Now, I’m not going to talk about the wedding expenses or what marriage in itself looks like as I haven’t got the experience to do so and my version may mislead many of those who wish to be realistic about it – which is probably the best way to do it. Anyway, again we are subject to random searches that take place when our parents suspect that Mariam may just be Michael.Thanks to the many hours dedicated to Bollywood movies that have forever ingrained in me the hope that I will find Raj and I will be his Simran have probably set my expectations bar way too high that if I jump to pull it back down I wouldn’t reach. Whether Afghan parents like it or not there’s MSN, Facebook and a plethora of other means that technology today has made possible.Buckle up guys, you heard it here first from some random anonymous claiming to be a single Afghan girl but for all you know can be a balding Afghan father crying out to single Afghan men out there to give their daughters the benefit of the doubt. 17-26 if you aint married in this bracket you have one of the following; If she’s lucky and ends up being a Doctor or a Lawyer then they might forgive her a couple of years otherwise she has no reason to be picky and it serves her right for still being single! Even if she does and is caught, she has tarnished her father’s name and it’s her fault for not suppressing her wishes to spend her life with someone she has a mutual understating and interest with.For starters let’s begin with the fundamentals that apply to every version of an Afghan girl whether she fears God or fears getting caught by her dad. I don’t see how Afghan families do not allow their daughters to have chaperoned meetings with individuals so that they may have the chance to formally meet and exercise their birth right.
Bottom line is that the only way for an Afghan girl to get married is not with her cousin, who she calls her brother one day and is then walking down the aisle hand in hand with him the next day because her parents weren’t able to trust anyone else.
However, what I can be useful for is to give a little walk into the mind of single Afghan girls who suffer the pressures of the community and society at large that have been put on her when finding her spouse. Seat belting them into everything they do in life will teach them to be dependent and naive forever; they might as well tie us in a straight jacket.
Of course this will not be a general account but I will do my best to incorporate what I can of every version of an Afghan girl from the highly conservative to the “ultramodern”. Anything outside the border specially Pakistani or Iranian you’ve sold your soul to the devil and you deserve to be outcast from the community and your parents for the rest of their lives will have to give apologetic smiles upon entering functions and “mehmanis” where they’ll be asked about how their foreign son-in-law is doing. Oh, no silly not the last part, I mean how we can only select from Afghan guys, we have families that won’t look past their own ethnicities within Afghanistan, better yet they might even tell you you’re stuck to picking from your first cousins. Of course this is totally flexible to the Afghan guy. Either way, they are going to go behind their parents’ backs, because their hot-blooded and no amount of security will have them monitored every step of the way.
However, we should keep in mind that times are changing and Afghan girls are no longer submissive and will not allow to be treated how they were back in the days.
We have rights that are given to us and being able to select our life partner without feeling like running a marathon is an obvious one.She does not need to be shipped off and made somebody else’s business either (although this is not a bad idea sometimes but there may be backlash).