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01-Apr-2020 13:26

Her promises are worthless and the demands endless.” It’s not an uncommon condition.Parents are living longer, some adult children make childishness a career, and it isn’t easy to say no to a son or daughter, regardless of their age.Then add in the grandchildren, hostages held for ransom as your child essentially blackmails you into supporting their drug and/or alcohol abuse: “Give me the money or I will kill myself,” or “they will starve,” or “we’ll be on the streets,” is the implied or actual threat, yet the money does no good.As parents you capitulate even as you destroy your own fragile financial security.

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Give yourself, your troubled child, and the rest of your family, the benefit of the best opportunities and support available.

You also know that continuing will never benefit your grandchildren. Instead, begin to plan ways to taper off the support in return for demonstrated progress in cleaning up – and be prepared to either take on the grandchildren yourself or allow someone else to. AA itself reports a 95% dropout rate in the first year, and most treatment is based on AA.

Make arrangements or contact Child Protection or both. Second, they can clean up if they are sufficiently motivated and the treatment mode is carefully chosen. Third, it really is okay to save yourself and the rest of your family. Remember that you don’t have to stay stuck in the insanity of the addicted child’s world.

Funds intended to benefit the grandchildren disappear without benefiting anyone. Though it takes toughness that’s hard to muster and support which is even harder to find, there are alternatives.

The cycle continues until someone dies or there isn’t anything left to extort. It means finding the courage to face the reality without being swept away by understandable emotions. The most destructive belief most of us have held at one time or another is that alcohol and drug abuse is an incurable disease over which the addict or alcoholic has no control.

Your addicted adult child is still an adult and will still make their own choices, one of which may be their own destruction.

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